[1]Interviewed at the Cocknoose estate sometime in late 1992, Lawrence, KS
LFB: Who AreYou?
WIDOWMAKER: I am Widowmaker. I play bass.
COLONEL: I am the Colonel Vas Defferens. I am
the Master of Antagonism, Minister of Misinformation,
and Pimp Extraordinaire.
P.P.: Commander P.P. - you can call me commander
P. I like to insult things, vocals.
DeMILO: Penis Demilo, Guitars.
LFB: Where did your music originate?
W: What do you mean 'Where did your music originate?'
LFB: How would you describe your music? What
kind is it?
W: Big thick turd coming out of your tight little
asshole. (laughter) I don't know...
P.P.: You describe it.
C: Yeah, you describe it for us.
W: It's not a fair question. We can't say what
we think our music sounds like.
P.P.: I really don't know what kind of category
you can lump us into..
C: What are you trying to get at!?!! What's you're
fucking point!?!!
P.P.: What are you trying to say, man!?!!
LFB: I want to know what the fuck Cocknoose
is and why you are on this earth.
C: You see what you get.
P.P.: Well why we are on this earth is to make
everyone happy that's around us, you know.
W: It's a love thing.
P.P.: It is a love thing. (breaks into song) It's
a good vibration. It's a heartbeat...
LFB: What are your views on the music scene
in Lawrence and have you been to any better scenes,
or do they exist?
W: I'm pretty sure they exist somewhere. I don't
know, I don't go too far... and once we find them,
we will destroy them.
P.P.: (laughs) I like to create my own scene.
W: The bands in Lawrence, we really don't chum
around with that many of them not for any particular
reason other than...
C: We really don't fuckin' like them.
W: No...
P.P.: Unless there's some way to better ourselves.
D: Like with Dope or something?
P.P.: Like if they have Dope! (laughter)
W: We like 2 bands - 3 bands.
P.P.: Or if they're real violent. If they like
to hurt people or themselves and they have Dope,
they're A#1 on my list.
W: I like them if they are young little girls.
C: Heavy Rotation!
P.P.: Or MTV footage - if we can get that, we're
happy!
LFB:What are some of your songs about?
P.P.: Well, I don't know, really. Some of our
songs are about.. they really aren't about much
of anything, man. I sit around and I read books
and think of shit. Some songs are about serial
killers, most of them are about how cool I am,
basically. And how much I love myself and that
I'm all that matters most of all, you know.
D: Well shit! Fuckin' look at this!
(holds his hands out like he's presenting a new
product on the Price is Right.)
P.P.: I mean, look at it! (smiles) I don't know.
I just think of the 'Noose and it comes to me.
LFB: I know you guys have built up a pretty
good reputation for your stage shows.
W: GOOD? Good is an understatement, LITTLE MAN!
And I mean LITTLE, Tiny!
LFB: What are some of the most entertaining
things that you've done to date?
W: There's been a lot of things incorporated into
the 'Cocknoose Repertoire.' There's been blood
from ourselves and from audience members, there's
been nudity, there's been the throwing of large
objects at the audience, we've beat on members
of the audience...
P.P.: We beat on ourselves...
W: Yeah. And sometimes we throw some music in,
too.
P.P.: Occasionally, we try to have as much violence
as possible so you don't listen to the music.
LFB: Do you have anything planned for the
future...
W: Yes we do.
LFB: For future shows?
W: For future shows? No. (laughter)
P.P.: Shows are not planned, it just happens.
I don't go out to a show and say I'm gonna do
this and do that. If you do that, it never happens.
W: If we say we'd do something, then we never
do it, but yes, we do have some plans. And the
1st of October, we're going to Charloette, NC
and we're gonna record some songs that will be
released on a 7 inch pretty much guaranteed already
and that'll probably be released around January.
Other than that, we got enough material still
to do another 7 inch.
P.P.: And a lot of new ones. (Songs)
W: Which brings us to the fact that we have a
new 7 inch out. It's got 5 songs, it's wondurful.
Buy it or die. It's on piss-colored vinyl! What
more could you want?
P.P.: Also, in North Carolina - We hope to be
filmed with the almighty - Ric Flair!
W: That's right. I'm gonna have my picture taken
with Ivan Cohoff and hopefully, I'm at least gonna
have my picture taken at Ric Flair's house, but
hopefully I can meet the man.
P.P.: Even if I meet his dog, I'll be happy.
C: We're working out a deal. I think we're actually
gonna meet him at the country club at Charloette
and maybe shoot 9 or 18 holes on the course and
then go back the the clubhouse for some cocktails.
P.P.: Bleach our hair out and have a good time.
LFB: Widowmaker - What's your fascination
with wrestling and Jim Beam and is there a correlation
between the two?
W: It's only natural. A few names come to mind.
The Freebirds, the old Freebirds - The Fabulous
Freebirds - they like to drink, they like to wrestle.
Bruiser Brody - I think he liked Jim Beam, presonally.
I've watched wrestling ever since I was a kid
and it's just one of those things that's grown
on me, and Jim Beam - Hey, what more could I say.
P.P.: It tastes good.
C: And it's good for you, too.
W: Everybody should watch out for a new wrestler
named Sabu - He's the protŸgŸ of the Sheiks. In
an earlier interview (Project K.C. #9) I was misunderstood.
They added a mistake when I said something about
the Sheik and they said "Oh, the Iron Sheik" and
I didn't catch that. NO. It wasn't the Iron Sheik,
I'm talking about the original Sheik - The Detroit
Sheik. The MAN.
P.P.: Yes! The Razor Cuttin' Man!
W: He has a protŸgŸ named Sabu who's been getting
into some very violent confrontations over there
in Japan and that's tha man who's gonna help excite
the wrestling world along with Cactus Jack in
the future.
LFB: What's your views on the current Punk
scene?
W: Personally, I think I'm a little dismayed of
er, let's see how I should say - A little let
down when I actually think about it 'cause I didn't
think punk rock was supposed to have rules. Now
there's things like you can't say the word 'fag'
, you can't say 'bitch', you know. Everything's
gotta be politically correct and life just isn't
that way. It's not that -we can say those things
- It doesn't necessarily mean that they're a homophob...
P.P.: I'll say what I said before. It's like..
Punk rock started out as 'unexceptable.' It was
violent, whatever. And then you have all these
bands come around - from D.C. mostly, you know.
(laughter) All this posi-shit which I suppose
is okay, but when I hear fuckin' punk rock or
aggressive music, it makes me wanna fuckin' kill
someone. I don't think about fuckin' goin' out
and helping someone out and eating a bunch of
sunflower seeds, man. I feel like hurt, HURT,
HURT!! That's all I feel like, man.
C: Testify!
LFB: Original punk was just to piss everyone
off...
P.P.: It's just... No, I'm not trying to piss
everyone off, you know. I don't give a fuck what
people think about it. If they like it, they like
it - if they don't, they don't. I don't care.
We're just in a punk rock band, we are a punk
rock band, we will continue to be a punk rock
band - we listen to all kinds of music, but we
are a fucking punk rock band and that's the way
we will always be. We're not a hardcore band,
either.
W: Punk rock has come so factionalized. There's
so many factions to the 'punk rock' thing now.
There's really no core that it stems from anymore.
You have 'straight edge', you have 'grunge' -
you got every stupid little sub- factions. We're
just trying to do what the core should be. As
far as what it started out to be and whether we're
doin' good, that's up to you.
P.P.: We're fuckin' Kansas royalty. What do you
expect?
LFB: Just how the fuck did you come up with
the name 'Cocknoose'?
W: You know, it was a religious experience I once
had - a spiritual awakening, if you will. I had
just gotten done fingering my shit when I was
taking a dump, and as I was wiping my fingers
off on my stomach, I just thought 'Cocknoose'.
That's basically it.
P.P.: And I seem to have...
W: We all had different ways that we came up with
the name. How we all thought of 'Cocknoose'...
P.P.: Mine was more like I was taking a shower
and I had to shit real bad, but I was to lazy
and drunk to get out of the shower, so I just
took a shit in the shower and smashed it down
the drain - pulling on my dick as hard as I could
- and it was like 'Cocknoose', man! It was like
a fuckin' intuition I guess - like ESP. Isn't
that what they call that shit?
W: I think so. Penis (DeMilo), How about yourself?
How'd you come to think of 'Cocknoose' the same
time we did without us talking?
D: Well, I really don't know. It's just strange,
you know. I'm down there eating my shit, and it's
like..
P.P.: Trying to figure what you had to eat for
the day.
D: Yeah. Picking the corn out of it and all that.
P.P.: You got perfectly good pieces of corn and
tomato.
C: It's Christmas time! You need shit for the
Christmas tree. You gotta string up some corn!
D: I'm diggin' and diggin', okay. and then it
just came to me. I was thinkin' man, 'I wonder
what those guys are doing right now?'
P.P.: We were doin' the same thing as you were
doing - picking corn, man. Checking ourselves
forcorn.
D: It came to me. It just said 'Cocknoose.' -
right there.
W: Colonel, how did you miraculously think of
the name 'Cocknoose' at the same time we did?
P.P.: Don't you be talkin' 'bout the 13 year olds
you've pimped out, either!
C: No, we don't want to print - CUT THAT OUT!
Edit that out.
W: We're not into controversey.
C: Actually, the way it started out is that I
just happened to be at the wrong place at the
right time or the right place at the right time
or the wrong place at the right time - I don't
know exactly how the fuck it happened, but I saw
these guys playing around in their shit, and all
I saw was dollar signs. It just went right in
my eyes - dollar signs. I just thought "man, here
it is, here it is, baby. The next big thing. The
next four horseman of the apocolypse, here they
are, dollar signs, money, 'Cocknoose'!" That's
it.
P.P.: There you go.
W: WOOOOOH!!!
(very loud after a chug of beer)
C: A chance to pick up on underage women.
LFB: There's a type of masturbationwhere these
guys try to suffocate themselves...
D: Asphyxiation Masturbation!
LFB: What are your comments on that?
W: Uh, no comment on that.
P.P.: I gotta thought on that. It's my same thought
on whatever your sexual preference is. 'Whatever
makes you cum the hardest.' I do not fucking care.
If you want to fuckin' - I don't care what you
want to do, man. If you want to put a rope around
your neck and hang yourself from the celing and
jack off and almost die, so be it. Hopefully you
will die! 'Cause I'm all for suicide. We got enough
pricks out there as it is. Suicide is an alternative,
and I wish more people were into it.
D: Lob off some of that excess population.
P.P.: Yeah, really. 'Cause there's a lot of fuckin'
wasted carbon out there, you know.
C: Kids need a hobby!
(the room disrupts in complete laughter)
Kids need a hobby. If it involves fucking wrapping
cords around their necks and jacking off, great!
They need fuckin' hobbies.
P.P.: If someone actually listened to our fuckin'
record and killed themselves, I don't know. I
know it's been said before, but it would be the
best compliment ever, man. I'd probably go piss
on their fuckin' parents, man.
C: I think we should actually put something in
the 7 inch's like a money-back coupon for all
the kids that kiled themselves.
D: Yeah!
P.P.: Yeah, we could refund the three bucks!
W: Oh, cut this out. We went out on a limb for
this - this is silly. Right up to 'Kids need a
hobby' (laughter) Then it just got a little out
of control.
LFB: Is Mad Dog related to Anton LeVay?
W: Well, I've not been able to, we've not been
able to figure it out - his exact lineage yet.
Because as you know he comes from Europe, and
he's not bilingual, so he dosen't speak english
too well.
P.P.: Appearantly, he's not [related] bedcause
he's never been able to spell Anton's last name.
C: He comes from the mountains of Grendiville.
He doesn't speak english, he only speaks french.
I'm the only one that can enterporate..
W: Interwhat?
C: Interprite, (interpret - Ed.)
P.P.: It's one of those back woods french...
C: Yeah, it's a real wierd fuckin' dialect and
I'm the only one that can actually speak and converse
with him on his own level, so I don't think there
should be any more questions about Mad Dog...
W: Yeah, we don't want him to his name. He's in
the closet right now.
P.P.: He's got a box of Hydrox cookies. (laughter)
W: A box of Hydrox cookies and a stack of panty
shots, and..
P.P.: And he's got his own VCR with the Nashville
Network square dancin' and every now and then
a skirt flies up and he gets a panty shot, so
you don't want to interrupt him during that.
W: Let's just say looking at a picture of panty
shots.
D: He's got his mirror on the floor so he can
watch his asshole pucker.
LFB: When did the band get into self-mutulation?
Cutting themselves?
W: That happened about a couple of months ago.
(July '92) It's always been a plan, well not necessarily
a plan. It's always something I knew I'd end up
doing. But I'd just not gotten around to it yet.
The feeling wasn't right. All of a sudden, the
feeling's right, you know. The fuckin' machine's
rollin' - I'm ready to fuckin' bleed. And the
next time it's not just gonna be me bleeding,
and it's not gonna be just Cocknoose bleeding
- It's gonna be people from the fuckin' audience!
P.P.: And it's not self mutulation - it's self
purification.
W: Self-Beautification.
P.P.: Yeah, that too.
W: The crimpson mask on a face is one of the most
greatest things to me. 'Cause that's the kind
of wrestling that I used to watch - where there
was a lot of blood involved. And that's where
a lot of my bleeding comes from, that's from the
profesional wrestling.
D: We used to pretty much tend to take things
one level at a time. Do a show and certain this
or that will go on and the next show, a little
more will go on.
P.P.: A little something different, you never
know.
D: Give us six months.
LFB: What are your political views and do
you any of you have ambitions?
P.P.: My political views are, well, they've always
been the same. All politicians need a boot in
the face. They don't control the government -
nobody fuckin' does. And there's really no way
to stop that. You can vote - everybody should
vote, I guess - but other than that, I don't have
any political views because you don't have any
control. I don't care what anyone says - no one
controls it.
W: Cocknoose really isn't a political band. I
know for myself that I have no political outlook
at all.
LFB: So you don't find Tipper Gore Sexually
Arousing?
W: Never thought about it - next question.
C: Who? Who the fuck is Tipper Gore? Fuck Tipper
Gore! We don't even know who the fuck you're talking
about.
LFB: What kind of props do you use on stage?
W: We don't use props - we use ourselves. We are
our own props.
C: People.
P.P.: Uh, razor blades and microphones and that's
about it.
W: Yeah, we use razor blades, microphones, basses
to people's faces...
D: Animal bones.
W: We've done things with animal bones - we threw
a dead raccoon at the audience once.
D: We Did did do that. We had this dead raccoon.
W: It had been dead for over a week and I had
it in a friends freezer..
P.P.: And a good friend of mine that I used to
live with would lick the roadkill's asshole.
D: Asshole. That was funny.
W: That was Furface. That was the name of the
guy.
D: They'd bring the sucker out and one hole side
of it was FLAT!
P.P.: He'd take a bite out of it's hyde, too.
W: Yeah, a mouthful of dead raccoon asshole fur.
(the room busts out in laughter)
D: You've never fuckin' seen a crowd split so
fast when a fuckin' dead raccoon is coming right
at 'em, man.
P.P.: And then this kid, he buried it. He was
petting it before he buried it.
W: Yeah, and who's the psycho in this picture?
Thank you.
(the roomstarts cracking up again.) We were just
throwing a dead animal. We wern't fuckin' pettin'
it and saying 'Oh, what an animal you were! '
P.P.: 'What an animal you were.' You walked out
in front of a car and fucking died!
LFB: What's the most bizzare sexual thing
you guys have ever done and were you the aggressor?
P.P.: You don't have enough tape.
W: I don't even wanna go into this...
P.P.: 'Cause my most exciting sexual adventure,
I fuckin' try to do at least every other day.
So until something else comes along, you know.
LFB: Have you ever thought of playing weddings
and barmitzphas?
(P.P. snickers almost uncontrollibly, but manages
to get it under control.)
W: Well, the Colonel - He'll tell you the numbers
on how many barmitzphas and weddings and places
like that. Car shows, bridal showers and all that
we've been asked to play. You wanna roll out some
of those numbers? (to the Colonel)
P.P.: We have done a couple car shows where we
went on as 'The Rasperries' and 'The Guess Who'
a different time.
W: We play biker conventions and say we are 'John
K. and Steppenwolf.'
C: There was an actuall period that we toured
the pacific Northwest under the name of 'John
K. and Cocknoose.' We did some great songs. Great
tour. Financially, it was profitable. We met some
really wonderful people on the tour.
W: And goddamn, I got some cool gear shift nobs.
P.P.: And only three of us got syphilus.
C: Well, including John K.
P.P.: And John K. got a new toupee while we were
there, too.
LFB: Widowmaker - Tell us about Space Mountain.
W: (as he unscrews the cap off of a fifth of Jim
Beam) WOOOOOOH!!! Okay. (said in the proudest
tone imaginable) Space Mountain is the #1 attraction
for women, single or married, between the ages
of 15 and 35 in the entire fucking world. Space
Mountain is the #1 cause of divorce in this country.
It is the thing every woman dreams of. Space Mountain
- It is the ride. I'll tell you, you just cant
get any better than Space Mountain. WOOOOOH!!
LFB: On a serious note, have any record companies
taken notice of your act?
W: We sent out a few demo tapes. A lot of people,
it seems like, at least some of the bands that
we've played with - namely the Dwarves and the
Antiseen, they've mentioned us to people. 'Cause
I've talked to people I've never talked to before
and they'd say 'Oh, I've heard of you through
this band or that band,' or whatnot. The Antiseen
are setting us up with some labels that hopefully
stuff will pan out and they'll do a few releases.
One of them, maybe more, will do a release by
us. But, if it doesn't happen, we're not gonna
sweat it, 'cause we're punk rock. Punk rock is
do it yourself, you know. No rules, so we'll make
our own which means we'll do our own 7 inch or
our album or our own T-shirts or whatever. We
are fully capable of it, so when you got the body
and the brains, you can't go wrong.
LFB: How many discs and demos do you have
out?
W: We've got the one 7 inch out now, and it's
got 5 songs and whatnot - on piss-colored vinyl
and it's gonna be for sale at shows and at the
Love Garden [record store] here in Lawrence [KS],
of course. And it'll probably be at a few other
record stores. We're on a little compilation tape
that this guy made way back in our early, early
days, and it was called 'Kansas Underground' and
we were on that. It was very, very limited edition.
I don't know how many, but it was under - it was
like 50 or so. Definately an old and choice recordings.
They're great, musically. Ha, Ha, Ha.
C: Collector's items.
W: Yeah. So all you fucking record collectors,
I got about two copies left other than my own
personal one, so if you want to pay the big bucks,
you get the greatest.
LFB: How did you guys get together?
W: Back in my wrestling days, I'd already won
a lot of championships, I'd hurt a few opponents
really bad, and I had seen this man - he kept
talking and talking and talking and I ended up
latching up with him. He was my manager, the Colonel
here. (motions to him.) I decided to get out of
wrestling 'cause I figured I'd already conquered
this sport, and I went to the Colonel and I said,'Colonel,
I need 3 men that are gonna help me be as devastating
as possible on a rock 'n roll platform as I was
a wrestling platform. And, Colonel, take it over
from where you found them.
C: It wasn't easy to find 3 men that coud actually
compliment the Widowmaker's...
W: Actually there was 4 at the time. 4 extras.
C: It wasn't easy. There were actually 4 extras
at the beginning of the Cocknoose years, and it
wasn't easy to put 4 men together that could actually
keep up with the Widowmaker's brutality and taste
for blood. (Widowmaker lifts his arms up in a
glorious 'look at me' pose.) As a matter of fact,
he'd left many wrestling arenas from here to Chattanooga,
Tennessee covered in a pool of blood and tears.
It was quite sad. As a matter of fact, Widowmaker's
a little proud to say this, but he was actually
forced out of the wrestling industry because of
his viciousness and his brutality. So I went on
a search that took me far and wide through some
of the seediest dens of Singapore, Bangkok, and
other dens of inequity around the world until
finally, I masked 4 men. Needless to say, 2 of
those men couldn't quite hang on to the Cocknoose
repertoire. They couldn't quite keep up with the
legacy that was abound. - that was bound to become
Cocknoose. But now, I think we have a pretty tight
core of 3 men to surround the Widowmaker and to
help him along in his quest for blood. I don't
know. It's a long and beautiful, beautiful saga
on the trail of tears that lead to the formation
of Cocknoose.
P.P.: That is true.
C: That is very true. I think that there ought
to be a documentary about it.
LFB: Can you elaborate on some of your fetishes
- P.P.?
P.P.: On my fetishes? Okay, - Piss! I like piss!
I like women to piss on me. I love it, man. There's
nothing like having a fuckin' girl standing above
you in the bathtub, spread those lips and the
piss runs. It's great. It makes me feel like a
fuckin' man!
LFB: Is your theme song 'Golden Shower' by
the Mentors?
P.P.: No, no I wouldn't say that, but I do enjoy
the Mentors and I like most of their material
that I've heard. More fetishes that I'm into -
I like body piercing a lot. I like the holes.
Not necessarily how many holes you have, but how
big they are. That's one of my fetishes. Uh, leather,
I don't know, man. Corsets, I like all kinds of
nasty shit. Sadism, Masochism, Bondage - I really
like a lot of bondage stuff, it's just real expensive
to buy a lot of bondage stuff, but I make my own
gear, so I have a good time. I also have two kids.
(The total contrast of subjects makes a temporary
silence, with faces smiling.)
LFB: Do you ever find time out of your real
busy work schedule to spend time with your children?
P.P.: Everyday, every single night. Every night.
My kids are great! I love kids - my kids. I hate
other kids. I love my kids. I HATE KIDS! I REALLY
FUCKING HATE KIDS! But I love my kids - 'cause
my kids are fuckin' cool.
LFB: Did y..
P.P.: NO! My kids are real cool!
LFB: What are your views on Yugoslavia beating
the shit out of each other and other worldly crisises?
P.P.: I'm all for people beating the fuck out
of each other no matter what country they live
in.
C: I think that should be the right of every country.
No Country should ever not have the right to beat
the shit out of each other.
P.P.: That's right.
W: I'll tell ya. When we played at Hairfest '92
- Oh, I mean Pitfest '92 - where would I think
'Hairfest'? I don't know. Anyway, I told the audience
exactly what I wanted. I wanted them to grab their
fuckin' best friend and beat them mercilessly
-
P.P.: We tried, we tried.
W: - just to prove that nothing's sacred, but
they wouldn't. These people think I'm just saying
this for no reason, but I really mean it 'cause
nothing is fucking sacred. And I think people
should... Violence Now!, man, that's all that
I can say is Make trauma happen. You're not gonna
just be able to walk down the street and see trauma,
you have to make it happen.
C: In some ways, we're all for Yugoslavia.
P.P.: I don't know what they're about - I'm all
for them.
W: The one thing is we don't care about them because
if you're not with Cocknoose, you're below us.
And I seriously fuckin' say that 'cause either
you're in - you're with Cocknoose 100% on what
they're doing or you're fuckin' below us, basically.
P.P.: And stand close to the stage.
C: I'd actually like for Cocknoose to tour Yugoslavia,
maybe.
P.P.: I would too. Hey, there is a lot of hardcore
bands and shit form there. They'd probably love
us!
W: And they probably all suck and sing in a fuckin'
language other than english, so I don't want to
hear them.
LFB: What's your views on the L.A. riots?
W: Violence Now! Make trauma happen, man.
P.P.: What do they expect? What do they expect
when you got pig doin' what they do, man? I've
seen the so-called police beat down a lot of my
friends, man. I'm from a real small town, but
I've seen cops fuck up people for really - for
just smarting off to them. So, what do they expect?
W: 'Cause they can.
P.P.: Yeah, 'cause they can. They have a liscence
to do that. What do you expect? It doesn't suprise
me at all. That just happened to be one thing
they caught on film. It happens all the time.
Next question.
LFB: What do your parents think about what
you do and have they ever been to a show?
W: My parents have never been to a show. They
know we put out our own records and I buy equipment
and all that, but I don't know. I don't know what
they think about it. I really don't care.
P.P.: My parents have never been to a show, but
both of them have listened to the tape and they
both - especially my mom - really likes it. I
can't wait to get the records out, 'cause she's
gonna get one and also, she's really wanting to
come to the Outhouse and check us out and I'm
all for that. My mom's really cool and so's my
dad, for that matter. They're divorced, but I
mean they're totally open to what I do - I mean,
nothing's suprised them over the years. The years
have done a lot. Nothing suprises them anymore.
They just accept me and love me for what I am
and I am a loveable guy.
LFB: Penis DeMilo - have you ever thought
of having your awe- struck beauty put into a painting?
D: I have been in several paintings. (silence)
LFB: Okaaaay.
W: Elaborate! Have you ever thought about doing
any nude modeling for Torso magazine?
D: I've already done those!
W: He's already done those?
P.P.: He's already done it. He gets 3 grand for
every shot!
D: That's just a given for the'Penis!
W: The one thing that people don't realize about
Cocknoose is we are fucking beautiful. We are
the most beautiful band that you will ever find.
Find any physical specimen that's more perfect
than us - other than Ric Flair - I don't think
you can! I don't think you can.
P.P.: We've all undergone the latest cosmetic
surgery, I mean, we are beautiful and we know
it!
W: We got beauty, we got brawn, we got brawling
behind us, what more can you ask for? Anybody
wishes to contest that, they can walk that isle!
P.P.: And I wish they would walk that isle because
we're the 'Noose! We're a hangin' jury. There
would be no trial.
W: On a serious note, a lot of people - this is
serious. A lot of people want to slag us off for
what we do onstage. A lot of people wanna talk
shit saying,'Oh, those guys, they're funny!' We're
fuckin' serious, man! If you people would just
wise up, you're gonna find out that we're twice
as bad as you thought. But basically, FuckYou
to anybody that talks shit on the 'Noose.
C: It's real fucking funny to have a bass guitar
slammed up against your head, isn't it?
W: Yeah.
LFB: You got a brutal swing you got there
that I've seen at some shows...
W: You can talk shit on Cocknoose all you want.
We got a 7 inch out. Doing it in style.
P.P.: Walk that isle, baby, walk that isle.
W: We're gonna continue. You will not be able
to stop us. So, you might as well fuckin' join
up and fuckin' agree that we are what's goin'
on.
P.P.: We're not going to quit. We're not jumping
on the 'Grunge Wagon' like a lot of these Lawrence
bands are doing. We got a few of our friends bands
that are still keeping the truth going. There
is so much bullshit out there, man. It'll never
happen.
LFB: What are some of your major influences
from the original punk scene that got your sparks
flying?
W: As far as myself goes, I like the Dead Boys
a lot. Probably my all time favorite punk rock
band. But, there's a lot of other bands - I gained
a lot of influence from old KISS, old AC/DC, too.
Cocknoose isn't just punk rock, you know. We're
about Rock 'n Roll and the great fuckin' Rock
'n Roll thing - overindulgence.
P.P.: I want to elaborate on this a little bit.
I was in 5th grade. I bought Black Oak Arkansas
'Raunch 'n Roll' - Actually I was in about 4th
grade my parents took me to see Black Oak and
Lynyrd Skynyrd opened up for them and they smashed
their guitars over Jim Danny's head when they
were done play- ing. I loved that. My dad went
out and bought 'Sabbath Bloody Sabbath' - once
I heard that, I bought everything I could get
by Black Sabbath. And when I was in Jr. High,
I was really into KISS, I mean heavily, heavily,
heavily into KISS, man. From then on, I worked
in a little record store in Ottowa, and I started
listening to the Ramones and a lot of english
stuff like the Clash, U.K. Subs and stuff like
that and from then on it just went from there.
That's basically my roots.
W: We gain our influences from true Rock 'n Roll,
the true actual Rock 'n Roll. It doesn't necessarily
have to be punk, it doesn't have to be Heavy Metal,
it doesn't have to be anything. Anything that's
true, that's real.
P.P.: Something that just hits you. I hear something
and it might even be - I might hate the song,
but they're might be something in the somg that's
just like, "Goddamn, that's fuckin' brutal,
man. That is so cool. I wish I could of come up
with that." There's a lot of shit like that
I hear all the time. I hear a lot of old songs
on like 95FM oldies channel that I hear that are
like, "Goddamn! That was soo cool!"
That shit happens all the time.
W: I also gather a lot of my influence from wrestling,
too. Naturally - as if anybody couldn't tell.
P.P.: I'm more into boxing, myself. I like boxing.
And Mike Tyson is the Champion.
LFB: Penis, What's some of your favorite musical
influences?
D: I was, once again, the 3rd KISS decipel of
the band. Always was and still am. Nothing topped
KISS back then. I mistakenly bought a G.G. Allin
tape when I was about 15. Trying to figure what
the hell that was and just fuckin' loved him.
Fucking great. From then on, everything just excelled.
Really not much more to say than that.
P.P.: Yeah, and I got something else to say about
this more on these lines. All these guys like
******, ****, ****...
W: No, Penis, Widowmaker, Mad Dog,
P.P.: Widowmaker, Penis, sorry, man. Yeah. Don't
print the real names.
C: We got Lawyers!
P.P.: We all listen to different music, but we
all have a lot of the same interests. We like
scum-fucking-rock!
C: I don't like music at all. I like blood.
W: Right now, I like to listen to old Hank Williams
Sr. and a lot of Patsy cline. That's great fuckin'
music.
P.P.: Love that shit! Patsy Cline fuckin' rules!
No doubt. And old Hank? No doubt about that. Patsy
had a voice... I hear her voice and I almost want
to cry and I ain't just fucking kidding when I
say that, either.
W: That's good drinking music.
P.P.: That is.
W: I tell you. That stuff and old KISS, old AC/DC,
G.G. Allin, Antiseen, Dwarves, whoever, you know.
It's better than this MTV Fuckin' programmed Pearl
Jam shit.
P.P.: I like real music.
LFB: Seattle in the idiot box...
W: It's not every band from Seattle, it's just
all of a sudden, and I'm sure if... There's a
local band here that got signed to a major label
here in Lawrence - we're not gonna name their
name, but - hold on. (he picks up the telephone
and then hangs up.) Call for the Mad Dog - it
was from France. Where was I? They just got signed,
you know. And if a lot of other bands in Lawrence
decided to try to play music that they played,
the kind of music that band plays, to get signed,
it wouldn't suprise me. I can already see other
bands playing stuff like that.
LFB: And the band that got signed had playing
that way from the start?
W: Not necessarily the same way they are now from
where they started, but they pretty much have
still been the same. But I'm sure there's gonna
be a lot of band wagon stuff here. It just happens.
See if you see Cocknoose trying to play 'Grunge'
or whatever. It won't fuckin' happen.
P.P.: We aren't really trail blazin' a fuckin'
new path, we're bringing back something nobody's
bringing back. We're not on any fucking bandwagon.
W: On a local level.
P.P.: On a local scale - there's a lot of bands
around the country that you fuckin' really love
that's pure punk rock - bands that we're friends
with, our friends and stuff, but other than that,
there is so much bullshit.
LFB: Have you played gigs outside Lawrence?
W: Not yet, but we are going to be going out on
a... tentively, we're planning maybe just a week
maybe 2 week long tour in January, and a few of
those dates will be with the Antiseen and Mad
Brother Ward, and we are going to FUCK SHIT UP!
Making trauma happen is what it's all about. We're
going to be in Tennessee and North Carolina. Basically,
the tour is gonna be down in the south.
P.P.: Because really, I speak for myself - I'm
a redneck deep down. I'm another breeder redneck.
I got my own Ideals, but I drive a country cadillac
(a pickup truck) and I'm a redneck motherfucker.
LFB: Any final views or messages you'd like
to give out?
W: Don't talk shit on Cocknoose! That's about
it, because in order to be the band, first you
must beat the band. And when you talk about us
- you make the band. You make us the band. If
you want to try to fuckin' take us, you can try.
You might get us once, but you won't get us again.
D: Come and get us.
P.P.: Amen.
W: TESTIFY!
P.P.: That's right. I've always issued an open
challenge to anyone. If they're gonna out punk,
out beautify the 'Noose - bring it in. Step into
my office. In the ring. Step on in. Bring it down.
We wanna see what happens.
W: Penis?
D: Bring it down.
W: He says BRING IT DOWN! Colonel?
P.P.: Get off the phone with those girls, now.
C: This is just an ultimatium from the 'Noose
to the whole fuckin' world. - We are tired of
you, we don't like you. We hope that you fuckin'